About me dating

Everyone gets anxious about something, some more than others and about almost anything you can think of.Their weight, their jobs, their face, their knees, their height, if anyone heard that fart that squeaked it’s way out and so on.

I developed an insecurity about my height, questioned my level of general attractiveness and battled a strange wave of anxious thoughts born from being ghosted, rejected and receiving responses that were two days late.

My initial experience of dating was a feeling of inadequacy, like I wasn’t good enough for the type of person I wanted.

I’d roll my eyes and make a huff in disagreement trying to bat away the label.

Instead I think that support is something that you should offer to someone you care for, although perhaps my level of support is somewhat unnatural and detrimental.

I tried to create a system or make sense of the anxious chaos I associated with dating, I tried to crack its code, I didn’t want it to feel anxious in it. Created methodology and causality in my head to make things easier to deal with because all of a sudden they made sense, well… To many this is a strange and somewhat weird way to process dating.

I mean it’s only dating right, what’s the big deal.That runaway epiphany mobile hit me again and I realized nothing was going to change unless I made movements in my life to make things better, working harder, knowing that mistakes are there to be learnt from and thanking my chocolate stars that I at least have a pair of healthy arms and legs in order to do that.Whatever I didn’t like I worked to change and whatever I couldn’t change I learned to accept and live with.Little did I know that it was rarely about what I did, said or thought, almost like there was another version of me they pictured, made from mud and various emotional elements.Re-enacting a script that they predicted and foresaw in their minds, an inevitable bomb-like future where every action only cut time off a predetermined fate.People that suffer from anxiety tend to have it participating in their daily lives and makes a lot of situations difficult to deal with if not managed properly.

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